In her book, CONSCIOUS CREATION, Dee Wallace has a whole chapter devoted to forgiving.  She affirms forgiveness as an invaluable tool for creating because it is a choice to move out of the energy of constriction and into flow.

She believes the reason most of us stay stuck in non-forgiveness is that “we love to wallow in what has happened.  Not only does it give us a comfortable excuse for why we can’t create, it offers a wonderful sense of community with our fellow victims.”

Choosing to take responsibility gives us the power to transform our situation.

Most of us will remember Dee Wallace as the actress who played the mother in the film, E.T: The Extra-Terrestial. (“Phone Home!”) And yet, she says the biggest gifts she ever received were the numerous people who sabotaged and hurt her.  

The amount of love I was able to experience in forgiving them, and the freedom it created, transformed my life.

She relates how her life has been filled with the lessons of forgiveness.  Her relationship with her father was a consistent challenge of forgiveness.

He couldn’t promise me he would be sober when I was a finalist for homecoming queen, so my teacher escorted me.  I won.  Later my mom would tell me that he was in the stands watching. It didn’t matter.  Bottom line, the bottle was more important than I was.

At one point after his suicide, my teacher said to me “Everyone does the best they can do. We’re all here to learn.”  That helped me forgive the crap and celebrate the good, so I could begin to move on.

From hurtful, deceitful romantic interludes to major business retaliations that devastated my career,

I learned that I had to forgive in order to live more fully.

For me – not for them.

When we go into blame, we become victims, and lose our power to create. We forget we are the Source we are blaming.  We forget that

everything that happens, happens to serve us.

Most of what we need to forgive is in the past and keeps us focused in the past.  As an adult, it is our ability to respond to a new choice that allows us to see a bigger picture.  We are able to see others’ limitations and circumstances.  We are able to even see the gifts we may have gotten from perceived hardships.  We are able to let go because we know that we too, have made mistakes.  However, we must choose to want to see these new perspectives.

Forgiveness is not a requirement for staying out of hell.

Hell is being stuck in that energy and not being able to move on.

However, forgiveness can’t be forced –and if we attach the vibration of guilt and beat ourselves up for not feeling forgiving, we bring our vibrations even lower.  It often takes some practice to be able to make that shift in our perception.

As an adult, I can see that my father did the best he could.  He was simply too damaged and incapable of healing.  I am able now to separate his drinking from his love for me and choose to remember the love.  It serves me better.  I learned from the drinking and lack of responsibility what I do not want in my own life.  They are guideposts I now use to consciously create what I want.

For more information about Dee Wallace and her work: http://www.officialdeewallace.com/